One key to helping yourself be a winner is to focus on a mindset that eliminates the element of competition. The problem with focusing on competition and making yourself a winner is that someone then has to lose. However, if you focus instead on creating a win-win situation then not only will you be a winner then your success will foster the success of others and others’ success will help foster your success.
While so much of our society is focused on competition and winning at all costs, this is ultimately a very destructive mindset. A team that works together is always stronger than a group of individuals only out for their individual purposes. If you can apply this principle to every aspect of your life then you can achieve tremendous success.
The truth is that if you set up a competition in most areas of your life then you lose even when you win. For example, if you “win” an argument with your spouse what do you gain, and what do you lose? Perhaps you scored the most points in the argument or simply wore down your significant other until they gave in. Now you have your way regarding your weekend plans or whatever was at stake. But what damage has been done to your relationship? How does your spouse feel about you? How will he or she feels as they participate in the activity you won? How much damage will accumulate to your relationship if you win the next argument? And the next?
The same is true about competition in other areas of your life. If you win a competition at work then you may reap benefits in terms of recognition and even monetary rewards. But if you win comes at the cost of your co-workers then not only will they feel like losers, but they may well resent your success. How well will you work together as a team in the future? What will happen when you need those people to work with you on a project?
So what is the alternative? After all, no one wants to be a loser and the perception is that if you are not a winner then you are a loser. But what if you can create a situation where everyone wins? What if you can eliminate the competition? Remember, your short term win is a long term loss if it damages your relationship with your spouse, child, co-worker, or friend.
How do you create a win-win situation? You have to keep your long-term goals in mind for that relationship which may mean that you need to remind yourself and reaffirm to the others involved that you value yourself and the other person (or people involved). You also need the maturity to strike a balance between strength of purpose and empathy. Finally, you need to believe that there is enough success for everyone. You need to be a big enough person to understand that there is more than enough for everyone, so it does not cost you to share in the success. Helping or allowing another to succeed will not diminish your success and in fact, may well enhance it.
Making the decision to change your mindset from win-lose to win-win is not easy and then following through with that philosophy change can be extremely difficult. Most of us have been conditioned from early childhood to compete in every aspect of our lives. However, once you give up that competitive edge and focus on helping everyone win then you will be on a sure path to success in life.